20 Jokes That Show A Grandmother Never Really Stops Worrying

Welcome back to Comics Hut. A grandmother does not retire from worrying. The children grew up, moved out and had children of their own, and the worrying simply expanded to cover them all.

The Job That Never Ends

She will tell you she is not worried. She has been awake since four. She has checked the weather in a city she has never visited because somebody she loves is there this week.

These twenty jokes are affectionate rather than mocking, because the worrying is really just love that has nowhere else to go.

#1.

Text me when you get home. It does not matter that you are forty-three.

#2.

She saw one item on the news about your city and has assumed the worst.

#3.

Are you warm enough? Asked in July, indoors, during a heatwave.

#4.

She rang twice. You did not answer. She has begun contacting other relatives.

#5.

You mentioned a cough on Tuesday. She has been thinking about it since.

#6.

Drive carefully. Said as though you had been planning otherwise.

#7.

She does not want to interfere. She then interferes, thoroughly and correctly.

#8.

You said you were fine. She heard something underneath it and she was right.

The thing about a grandmother’s worry is that it is entirely unpaid and entirely voluntary. Nobody asks her to lie awake. She does it because somewhere along the line she decided your wellbeing was permanently her business.

#9.

Have you eaten? It is the first question, always, before anything else.

#10.

She worries you work too hard, then asks why you have not been promoted.

#11.

You are too thin. This has been true at every weight you have ever been.

#12.

She keeps your childhood dentist’s number, just in case.

#13.

A plane crashed somewhere in the world. She checked whether you fly this month.

#14.

She saved a newspaper article she thought might be relevant to your job in 2011.

#15.

Take a coat. There is no negotiation and there never has been.

#16.

She would like to know your friend’s full name and something about their parents.

#17.

You are not answering because you are busy. She has considered eleven other explanations.

#18.

She does not sleep properly until everyone is home. She will deny this.

#19.

Are you happy? Asked quietly, once, and she means it completely.

#20.

She will worry about you long after you stop needing it, because that is simply the arrangement.

If a grandmother is worrying about you this week, send the message. It takes four seconds and it lets somebody who loves you finally get some sleep. More at Comics Hut.