20 Pieces Of Grandmother Wisdom With A Funny Twist

Welcome back to Comics Hut. Grandmothers dispense advice in a particular style: short, practical, and delivered while doing something else entirely. It sounds like a joke until roughly a decade later, when you realise she was completely right.

Advice That Sounds Like A Punchline

The best grandmother wisdom does not arrive as a lecture. It comes sideways, in one sentence, usually while she is drying a plate. You laugh at the time. You quote it for the rest of your life.

Here are twenty pieces of that wisdom — funny on the surface, and rather sound underneath.

#1.

Never trust anyone who is rude to a waiter. That is the whole assessment, and it has never failed.

#2.

Always carry a cardigan. The weather has no loyalty to anybody.

#3.

If you cannot say something kind, say it quietly and to nobody at all.

#4.

Buy cheap, buy twice. This applies to shoes, mattresses and husbands.

#5.

Never go to bed on an argument. Go to bed early and win it fresh in the morning.

#6.

A cup of tea will not fix it, but it will get you to the part where you can think.

#7.

Do not lend money you cannot afford to give away. Then it is a gift and nobody falls out.

#8.

If a man tells you who he is, believe him the first time. It saves several years.

The reason this advice lasts is that it was earned rather than read. Every line here is the compressed result of somebody living through the thing and deciding it was worth passing on.

#9.

Always keep something in the freezer for people who arrive unannounced.

#10.

Worrying is paying interest on a debt that may never come due.

#11.

You will not remember the money you spent on travelling. You will remember everything else.

#12.

If it takes two minutes, do it now. The pile is always made of two-minute jobs.

#13.

Be suspicious of anyone who does not like animals or children. They are telling you something.

#14.

The best revenge is a happy life and a well-kept garden.

#15.

Never argue with a fool in public. Onlookers cannot always tell which one is which.

#16.

Say the kind thing out loud. People cannot hear what you meant to say.

#17.

A good pair of shoes and a good bed. You are always in one or the other.

#18.

Everything looks worse at three in the morning. Nothing should be decided then.

#19.

Keep your own money, however small the amount. Independence is a habit, not a sum.

#20.

Be kind. It costs nothing and you will need it returned one day.

Grandmother wisdom sounds simple because it has been filtered through decades until only the useful part remains. Ask yours for hers — and write it down. More at Comics Hut.